Que comichão que me faz quando os marmelos que andam o ano inteiro a ver se me comem o orificio abaixo do cóxis, me desejam Feliz Natal!!
Pó Pénis com eles todos!
Cambada de mentecaptos que nada mais sabem fazer do que usar clichés.
Quer dizer, durante os restantes 11 meses do ano, tentam comer a mesma miúda que eu, ficar com o meu lugar na empresa, beber mais mines… basicamente saltar-me à espinha dorsal… mas chega-se ao Natal, e vêm com um sorriso mais amarelo que gema a desejar-me um Feliz Natal!
E se fossem todos montar-se na parte de baixo de um cavalo?
A sério, isso sim, seria um Feliz Natal!
Para mim, pelo menos, seria uma excelente prenda….
Vê-los derreados com almofadinhas Póku.
Que porra é esta?
Chegamos a esta época absurda e de repente toda a gente é boa?
Todos se lembram dos pobres, dos enfermos, dos “ coitadinhos “, das Fundações do Gil….
E o resto do ano?
Vivem na merd@?
Não, claro que não… mas o resto do ano, a meretriz que os deu à luz que os ature, que nós só temos essa obrigação no Natal.
Campanhas de angariação de bens alimentares…
What da fuck?
E nos restantes dias.. que come o pessoal?
Sopa de Ponta de Corno com patê de Népia, acompanhado de saladinha de Néribi?
E os pinheirinhos… fonix…. Os pinheirinhos…
Ando eu o ano inteiro a ver se não ateio nenhum fogo florestal, a plantar mais umas poucas de árvores para ver se o pessoal se junta à massa associativa do Sporting, para chegar ao Natal e cortarem tudo o que cheire a pinho.
Mais ainda…A guerra do Peru e Bacalhau…
A correria às grandes superfícies, em busca dos melhores produtos lá do sítio… já cheguei a ver autênticas guerras campais à pala do Bacalhau Graúdo da Noruega a 9,99€ o quilo.
Depois de muito sangue jorrado, pessoal mutilado e o bacalhau mais seco que as minhas piadas, ainda têm o descaramento de desejar um Feliz Natal!!
A sério, arranquem os cú-elhos com cera quente… a estupidez é a mesma.
Portanto aqui ficam os meus votos para calentopídios que me atasanam a moleirinha o ano inteiro:
Que fiquem com um pezinho preso na linha do comboio.
Que Deus vos guie contra um poste…mas na boa.
Que a vossa mulher vos encorne com metade da claque do Leixões, o regimento de Sapadores Bombeiros de Belmonte e os Funcionários da Casa do Gaiato.
Que o vosso namorado abixane e se junte a um culto de necrofilia.
Que se enganem nas gomas e mamem um frasco inteiro de pílulas laxantes.
Não me levem a mal os meus votos, mas se não gostam de mim o ano inteiro, prefiro que assim continuem durante esta época de Amor e Paz.
Pás! para vós (pela cornadura abaixo).
1º Post Scriptum: Explicaram-me agora porque é que o pessoal no Natal se porta bem.. é para terem um lugarzinho no Céu....
Conselho: Caguem nisso... os bons vão para o Céu, os maus vão para onde quiserem.
2º Post Scriptum: Se encontrarem o meu canário, mandem-no de volta para casa. É pretinho e relinxa.
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